幸福倒带

2008-06-21T20:12:00.002+08:00

难道要捉摸一个人的心，就是那么难的吗?

难道真心爱一个人的下场就是注定是这样的吗?

最纯朴的爱情，就是希望、祝福她永远都会幸福快乐。

但是，因为爱一个人而付出一切，换来的就只有默默守候的机会吗？

我可能随时都在你左右，但每次见到你、看到你，都只能看着你和他在一起，听见的都只有关于他的...

2008-06-15T23:26:00.003+08:00

我可能不会再有机会写下去，更可能会丧失继续写下去的能力。但是，我会永远记住这一天，更一定会记得我曾经深爱过你。

2008-06-13T20:36:00.003+08:00

今天下雨了，你松开了握着我的手，离开了我的怀抱。在一群五颜六色的雨伞里，只有我的雨伞下才有一个人站着。但你知道吗？独自一人撑着雨伞是多么的寂寞、孤独的。虽然两个人撑着雨伞会被雨稍微淋湿，但我就是喜欢这种甜蜜的感觉。

2008-06-12T21:24:00.003+08:00

咖啡本来就是要苦苦的，但不知从什么时候开始，我已经习惯喝很甜很甜的咖啡。你知道吗?当你离开了我，咖啡就似乎失去了它原有的香甜，剩下的只有那苦苦的味道。咖啡就像爱情一样，你的存在就像溶在咖啡里的糖，给我的人生带来了那甜甜的幸福。直到那一天，你还是走了。你知道我有多伤心吗？

2008-06-10T23:42:00.003+08:00

我

决定

再次回到这里来

对于忠心的粉丝，我深表歉意

我是个失败的人

我承认

可能是个悲伤的结局

也可能是个美好的开始

但不管怎样我决定重新站在起点上

尽力地感动我喜欢的她

因爱的勇气

我想再一次勇敢地向爱前进

让我们细心地回味那些甜蜜的时刻，感人的时刻，伤人的时刻

想哭就哭

想笑就笑

2008-03-31T22:04:00.002+08:00

The autumn leaves rustled.
They had fallen.
They can never turn green again.
Just like how I couldn't retrieve those precious memories of you.

It's really a blessing to see you smile. People might not notice, but your smile is really charming.

2008-03-30T22:59:00.002+08:00

I am freezing in this darkness of melancholy.

Depart when the lines are still together, for the future might bring about eternal separation, resulting two forever parallel lines.

2008-03-29T23:20:00.002+08:00

Walking alone,
the shadow is my only partner.
Walking in the beautiful, comfortable winds,
sadness still lay in my heart.
Nobody can ever feel the vast emptiness...

2008-03-28T22:45:00.002+08:00

Tiredness is overwhelming me. Keep the last bit of me burning, and let the weakest flame continue to glow and provide the warmth and light.

2008-03-27T22:56:00.003+08:00

Maybe it's good. I start to enjoy natural, relaxed conversations with you. Jokes and all sorts of things really made me felt light and happy. Sometimes, I guess it's really better when two persons get further from that invisible boundary, yet keeping sight of each other.

2008-03-25T23:30:00.002+08:00

Appreciate the silence, so that we can be true to ourself and not get affected by words.
Treasure the distance, because the beauty of love might fade when we get closer.
Sometimes, we are fortunate to have silence and distance between and within us.

2008-03-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

Merciless cold winds strike the core of my heart, leaving me weak and fragile against all odds.

The rain just got bigger and bigger,
but it can't wash away the deepest emotions.

2008-03-23T19:09:00.002+08:00

As I walked down the corridor of time, every door unfolded and revealed itself.
I anticipate the very moment when I turn each and every door knob.
But you weren't there.
Nevertheless, please let the corridor go on forever. One more time, one more chance.

2008-03-22T19:34:00.002+08:00

在绵绵细雨中，我们牵着手，一起回家。
和往常一样，我们都会到那个无人的巴士站，
倾诉我们的心事。
你的侧面，永远都是那么美，那么可爱。
我真的希望，巴士不会那么早到，
让时间停留在这一刻，让我好好珍藏这一段回忆。
不要放手，不要离开，
我只希望，纯朴的爱会永远存在。

2008-03-21T21:40:00.002+08:00

"Whatever you treasure must be held in the hollow of your hand as water is held.
Clutch at it and it is gone."-----------Anthony de Mello, S.J. 1996

走在张灯结彩‘、人山人海的街道上，
我的心却还是个被黑暗掩盖的死城。
戴上耳机，听着那永远跟不上的旋律，
我听不到自己的哭泣声，
但我却感觉到眼眶湿湿的。

人不断的来来往往，
虽然你的脸孔不会出现，
但我依然会傻傻地等待。
请告诉我，时间的终点在哪里？
幸福的尽头在哪里？
什么是永远？
什么是爱情？

叶子和树，
度过了甜蜜的春天、
炎热的夏天，
但到了秋天还是要分离，
然后独自承受冬天的痛苦。
也许，这就是爱情......
在一起的，必定被缘分拆散......

拥抱只是瞬间，
失去是永远的。
放手也许是一种解脱，
让分开没有那么痛。
空虚、伤心
全是因为你的离开......

2008-03-20T23:28:00.003+08:00

No matter how hard I try to keep this pile of sand on my palm, it will still leave through these imperfect gaps between my fingers.

Happiness might only be pretense. What I could feel is only the numbness of my heart. I think I have lost my senses. I don't know why. I'm just so hurt and injured.

I think I understand
Letting go is a process that I will have to face
It's just a matter of time I guess

2008-03-19T20:19:00.002+08:00

Weary, tired, sick
agony, pain, sadness
lightness, joy, happiness

Love brings all these things. It's just full of contradiction.

Trying to eat slowly and drag time, all I could do while sitting beside you was to admire you from far. The feeling doesn't change. Close but far. Near but distant. Together but apart.

When there are happy news,
you're always the first person I want to share with.
When the load gets heavier and heavier,
you're always the first person that I wish to talk to.

2008-03-18T22:55:00.002+08:00

How I wished that I have walked over to talk to you...

Not far away, I was trying to learn a simple melody on the piano. It is a simple yet beautiful song that has the power to touch people's hearts. Four benches back, you were there, busy with some work. Did you see me?

Love provides fuel and passion for life, but it wears people out at the same time.

Sometimes, I am just so tired. But happiness always envelope me when I'm with you. You just have that amazing charm that would light up my day.

2008-03-17T23:04:00.003+08:00

We were left alone, sitting by each other's side.
But you looked into the distant,
As if searching for something.
I tried to talk to you,
But became speechless after a few silly questions
Looking at you eating small bits of hashbrown,
I was really happy.
Just by my side, you were poking small little leftover bits with a fork.
It was childish but really cute.

You know how I feel, isn't it? The distance between us...
Sitting right beside you, do I really exist in your heart?

2008-03-16T22:20:00.003+08:00

As my heart gets drowned my sorrows
I am still longing for tomorrow
When I can see you again.

Eagerness and reluctance,
How to approach you?

2008-03-15T18:24:00.002+08:00

I have never realised how beautiful is the night sky,
until yesterday's night when the stars rejoiced with the moon.

Looking deep into your eyes,
I don't see a single part of me.
Standing right by your side
Sitting right beside you
I could only pass you a pen,
Or give you a piece of tissue.
I really don't know how to say,
But my heart aches.

Isolation and despair lingered in thin air,
while guilty and suffering enveloped our hearts.
Why does love hurt so much?
Why is it so painful?

"Love is about putting apart of yourself in someone else's hands. That's why it hurts so much."--Nut

Space, Distance, Time
Hover between two person's love
And drag them further and further apart.
Their tears tried to wash away their love,
But the feeling just won't faint.

2008-03-13T19:43:00.002+08:00

Give me strength and courage, because I'm going to perish in the hands of darkness.
Give me oxygen, for I'm soon dying of suffocation.

As balloons of hopes burst one by one, I don't know if I should let go these balloons that are still in my hand...

As I'm typing this post, my emotions are really mixed. I have a lot of things to tell you. But I just couldn't express them in words. They lie deep within my heart. It's like how a simple melody touches my heart and penetrates the toughest shield of my soul.

Don't feel guilty. Don't feel pressurize. Don't bear the pain alone. Believe me, no matter what that happens, I will still wait for you.

让爱倒带，让粉碎的回忆给我一丝温暖......
幸福就像在手心里的沙, 怎么抓也抓不住......

2008-03-12T19:30:00.002+08:00

I know the concert is starting soon. You might be feeling excited or nervous. But no matter what, just go on stage and give your best. Your voice will forever be the sweetest in the world.

Although I'm not there to watch your concert tonight, I will be right here, giving you all my support. Sitting alone in my room, I can see you on stage and singing in my heart. I know that you'll do fine.

The sky's tears fell continuously today. I really missed you. Every small little raindrop had made me thought of you. You might not know this, but it's amazing how much joy and happiness you can bring to me when you're around. Without you, I often felt cold and lonely.

Now, you might already be on stage and singing that beautiful japanese melody. From here, I can see the elegant you singing that wonderful piece of music. Stay confident, don't hold back, for I'm here supporting you in whatever you do.

2008-03-11T23:18:00.003+08:00

Four rows back from the stage, did you see me?

I know that I might not even exist in your world, but can I even be given the chance to try and enter your world? Can heavens grant me a chance to care and love you?

Throughout the whole concert, I had been anticipating the moment when you would come on stage. Although I could only see you for that short little while, I was really happy. The feeling just cannot be explained. You were really beautiful tonight, and you outshone every other girl in the whole world. How I really wished that the few songs you had sung would never end.

Every small step I took towards the exit of the theatre was hard and difficult. I just didn't want to leave. I tried to see if you had looked back at me when you left. But it was bitter and hurting. I turned away and headed into the darkness which would devour me.

2008-03-10T23:07:00.002+08:00

Two paper swans sit side by side,
that's how my heart is deep inside.

Tomorrow's your concert. Though you might not be able to see me, please remember that I am watching and listening to your performance. I will just be right beside you, giving all the support that you need.

2008-03-09T22:50:00.003+08:00

If I could, I would really go and watch your concert on the second night as well. But should I? I can sense that you're often unnatural when I'm around you. I know that you are pressurized and feel guilt. I'm sorry if I'm too close. I just wanted you to know that I care about you.

I enrolled in a music theory grade 1 course today. I'll be starting lesson next Sunday. I am looking forward to it, yet being held back a little. All I wanted was a word of support from you. Just a "jiayous" from you worth more than any gold on earth.

Typing this post to end my day,
as cold bed waits for me to lay.
Will autumn leaves ever decay?
Will winter snow freeze this play?

2008-03-08T20:48:00.002+08:00

You'll not know,
tears fall onto my keyboard when I am typing this post...

The song playing now reminded me of you over and over again. It brought flashbacks of precious moments with both happiness and sadness. There were many times when I tried to talk to you, but every step I took was just too heavy.

"If I had only 45 seconds to live, I would do nothing but to listen to this song." I had just read this comment to this song on the internet. I was deeply touched by it. It's really simple but beautiful. This simple rhythm with a couple of notes is able to unfold a sad and beautiful story about distance between two lovers.

But if I had only 45 seconds to live, I would say "I Love You" secretly in my heart and leave without you knowing...

2008-03-07T21:49:00.005+08:00

Here I am, rowing a wooden boat in this winding river of love...

We were at the same table today, but did we even talk at all?

Love is too large. No matter how much happiness it contained, it would still be empty.
Love is too small. Just an extra person that comes between 2 loving souls will cause suffocation and pain to each another.

There are always handles around us that can prevent us from falling too deep in love. But we couldn't hold on to them, because they are fated to break and make you fall from a higher spot, experiencing a greater pain...

2008-03-06T21:42:00.002+08:00

Do you know how much you meant to me? Day by day, life gets wearier and sicker. The flickering flame in my soul becomes weaker every moment, hinting its arrival of its end. Pain and agony was not a dagger that sheathed my chest, but was a poison needle that pierced my flesh. It hurt so deep internally that no man would be able to see.

A great repulsion pushed us in opposite ways. An incredible forcefield separated us and prevented me from coming to you. We could often see and talk to each other, but how often can we speak from the bottom of our hearts? We are so close, yet so far. We were not even a metre away from each other today, but our hearts were miles apart.

I know that you might not be ready to accept. But I just want you to know that I will always be a reliable shoulder for you to lean on. Whether you need to share your joy or cry your sorrows, I will be right here by your side.

2008-03-05T17:16:00.002+08:00

Trying to see you though it's impossible...
But the 5 seconds we met was still a treasure to bury in my heart...

I will accompany you to the end of time,
to hear that peaceful sounding chime.
As threads of love twist and twine,
fate will make the lovely sign.

Doors of heaven open wide,
for loving souls to stay side by side.
When the sea and ocean have no tides,
the day of death and life has just arrived.

Under that loving curse
we'll meet in a new universe
where there's nobody who will die of thirst.

2008-03-04T21:25:00.004+08:00

Every time I see you, everything around me freezes. All I can see in my eyes is you, for your existence on earth is like an outstanding rose in a big grass field. I called your name when you were in front of me. But you didn't hear me. Then, you went to the table that you usually sat. I admired you from miles away, going a step closer to you each time, yet a step back when I didn't want to let go of this happiness. When I just couldn't win the struggle within me, I turned away. It might be conicidence that we went into each other several moments later. I was enlightened, but huge sense of regret flooded my heart when I was such a fool, after saying just a word "Hello." to you.

Under those little raindrops, we met again. You were sitting alone at that little step, looking into the partially blue sky. I held my plate of rice in my hands, and settled myself just beside you, trying to understand your emotions as well. I wished that you could have stayed longer but it was just moments later that you told me that you needed to leave and head for the music room.

Every day I am in this vast sea of people, searching for you that matters so much in my heart...

2008-03-03T21:03:00.002+08:00

我也许在背着像几斤石头重的书包，拖着沉重的脚步，但你的出现总会让我忘记一切烦恼，并使我对生命改观，轻轻松松地享受生活的美好。开朗的你总会戴上那灿烂的笑容，让人的心也随着开心快乐起来。

今天，我们似乎没有那么冷淡，谈天时也有说有笑，就像两个朋友一样。你温柔可爱的语气是多么的甜蜜、动听。但不知为什么，我们彼此之间还是隔了一道看不清、摸不着的墙。我们之间真的有缘分的存在吗？难道我们这辈子都是两条不可能相遇的直线吗？还是我一厢情愿呢？如果是的话，我真的不想听到答案，因为在你身旁默默地等待也许会使我更好过。也许和你共处的时光总是那么的短暂，但我依然感觉到那说不出口的幸福。

2008-03-02T19:05:00.002+08:00

Bitter sad songs that played from the radio,
brought despair that nailed a painful soul.
As the violin strings snapped after each broken note,
faith-departed melodies rose from thou piano.

Elegant blood that stained the concerto
was angry fate who slain a Romeo
Dagger which lived in agony
stabbed Juliet in her fair beauty.

The coffin of life hereby waits for me
until I am ready to be free.
All I need is some suicidal thoughts
because the world of Hades is a weaponry
that can be opened with a guilty key.

2008-03-02T18:35:00.002+08:00

今天下雨了。我戴上耳机，听着那悲伤的旋律，不禁流下了那滴咸咸的眼泪。我对你的感觉，你感觉不到吗？难道你真的不知道我就在你身旁，默默地守候吗？我给你的爱，是纯粹你想的 “不好意思” 吗？为什么你对我说话时，总要背向我，看着别的地方呢？那些你亲手做的cupcake是多么的甜蜜、美味，但当我在你面前说句 “谢谢” 时，你却显得那么不自在......你知道吗?我对你的爱是真心的, 也许你不会相信, 但我一定会证明给你看。

就算到了天涯海角，时间依然会伴随着我们，直到永世。

2008-03-01T18:15:00.002+08:00

Menacing daggers penetrate through the toughest soul
whilst deadly reality poisons the weakest foe.
Autumn breeze kissed goodbye to green leaves
that turned yellow under the devil's teeth.

Bright darkness that blinded my heart
said that Cupid had just played a card.
It was a happy joker that laughed at my pain
and held a sword that I was slain.

Merciful winds blew me to the grave
where mists had infiltrated the peaceful cave.
Putting some dry grass around the stone,
I checked to make sure that I'm alone.
That little matchstick shalt not see
how I had drowned myself in this fire sea.

2008-03-01T11:44:00.003+08:00

As usual, morning kisses the clouds and vow their love for each other by the hidden sun. Rain falls as their happiness and wash away those sad tears of dew.

0216. A number that's way perfect for me. This four numbers appeared on that ticket. It brought me more joy than winning a lottery. This number might be telling the fate between us. It's a perfect perfect cube that its surface area and volume is exactly the same. Like the cube, you are the only perfect one in this world that can change and motivate me. 0216 can only be in your small, lovely hands.

星期六是寂莫的，因为那可爱的脸孔不会出现，但我会透过我的心来想念你。
就算到了时间的尽头，我还是会等着你，让你永远幸福快乐。

Sinful jet planes have roared and zoomed past my windows. The world is not peaceful and it's full of civil blood. But even if the glass becomes weapons that slay me in its bloody hands, my soul forever stays with you, for I will love and wait for you to the end of time.

2008-02-29T20:41:00.002+08:00

Today's a leap year day. You had asked me earlier on to approach you for the concert ticket. Since dawn broke, I had been waiting for that moment. I was totally enlightened when I met you, receiving that ticket that would colour my heart with joy.

A day that comes every four years. You had given me a concert ticket today that would lead me into your melodious jukebox. And I will be waiting for the next leap year. I hope to receive another ticket that would guide me to your beautiful jukebox, not one that plays music but your honest words instead.

Morning embraced water whilst downpours spread their love.
The air was cold and merciless when the sun's heat rays beat the ground.

The old construction site appeared before me, bringing back little strips of memories. It might be black and dark. It might be coloured and bright. But no matter what, these are precious memories that no wind can blow away.

2008-02-28T19:40:00.007+08:00

I walked up the escalator of time through the winding passages of love, finding myself lost upon reaching the top.

You won't know how does it feel to sit behind and only being able to watch your back. You appear in my life like a star in a dark night when the moon is already asleep. I really wanted to take that last broken seat opposite you, but some invisible force just held me back.

During that lesson, I tried to sense your footsteps every single second, hoping that it will gradually get louder. When you appeared at the small corner of my eye, there was of a short burst of joy in me. Then, I called for you, asking a casual question that you didn't respond. I had tried several times, but I seemed to be hidden in a translucent piece of curtain that separated you and me.

After the class, I came to you again with an empty heart that is to be filled by you. I thought of more things to say, but "bye" was the only word that I could articulate. We were separated by an invisible piece of wall. But through the wall, hearing a joyful melody of yours gave me happiness that I had never experience before. Yet, after every sweet verse, there was an answer from him. An answer that knocked me right back. An answer that stabs a dagger right through my heart.

(thank you Justin for the inspiration)

2008-02-27T19:28:00.003+08:00

Out of the blue-tinted window, the sight of the joyful pair caught my eye. It kept me thinking about you. Your lovely face appeared as a reflection on the window. But as the birds flew off, the beautiful face vanished. I had really wished that you could stay a little longer.

Once again, the chrysanthemum tea I just drank reminded me of you. You have once said that chrysanthemum tea is your favourite drink. Every sip of it was a short moment of happiness.

The pain didn't come from the wound, it came from my heart.

2008-02-26T21:10:00.003+08:00

I have just realised how miserable life is when you are not by my side. Heavy downpours and chilly winds were warnings to a mishap. I couldn't avoid it. I was defeated.

At that frightening split moment, all I could think of was you. Tremendous pain was all over the pathetic me. But you weren't by my side. I didn't get up because of my pride. I got up instantly because of the worry I had about you. I didn't clench my fists because of the pain. I clenched my fists because I didn't want you to be exposed to danger.

The sight of you during recess gave me a short moment of happiness. I took a deep breath and a small step each time as the distance between the bench and my feet got closer. Finally, I plucked up my courage and approached you. My heart was full of regret when I had only asked a silly question and talked no more. I was really at a loss for words as my emotions were mixed. I long for a heartfelt talk with you when the time is appropriate. I hope to let you know that your appearance in my life is a sweet melody that rises above all.

As the night approaches,
I long for the street lights to be turned off,
for your presence alone lights up the whole of my heart.

2008-02-25T21:50:00.003+08:00

Now I am in my dark and quiet room. The moon with your reflection has vanished, leaving some light trails behind. Darkness will soon engulf me as the swimming pool turns off its lights. Four weak light bulbs are trying to give it to their limits, not even aware of the approaching danger.

Poof! They have just disappeared. I can feel that the darkness is drawing near, and I have no strength to fight back. All I need is you, for your presence can bring me the victory.

2008-02-25T20:44:00.008+08:00

"cause both of you are suffering isn't it?"

"she suffers because she feels guilt for you and you suffer because you only feel her guilt and not her love."

"isn't that right?"

......

"cause she's isn't ready to accept love yet."

......

"oh? yeah your are devoted...for you are only curious about her personality. once you know her, will you throw her away? that we cannot be sure and to be honest I am not sure whether she will take this risk...actually these are all my thoughts and not her reactions but I can see she really wants to be very good friends with you only."

2008-02-25T19:51:00.003+08:00

Staring blankly at the 4th stall, the steaming hot rice on my orange plate had turned as cold as ice. I rooted myself on the wooden bench, trying to catch a glimpse of you. The long wait left me freezing under the hot sun.

2008-02-24T15:52:00.003+08:00

Every breath I inhale in the morning,
is cold and saddening.
Every breath I exhale in the night.
is a pain and lonely sight.

2008-02-24T09:42:00.003+08:00

You might never know. You might never sense. But I'm here, right by your side. Nevertheless, I'm happy. You will shine above all during the concert, and I'll be 1 of the hundreds below your stage. From afar, I listen to your sweet, smoothening voice. From miles away, I catch a glimpse of you.

Bright daylight shines into my room. It heats up the air around me, but not lighting up my day. You're forever busy with something. Do I exist in your world?

I shouldn't be thinking so much as it really depends on fate. But I still want to be a part of your life. Since your appearance in my life, I've become motivated. I am willing to change and improve just because of you. You've made an impact on my life, which can never go away.

樱花缓缓落下，落在你肩膀上的一朵朵小花让你变得好美，好美。
缓缓飘落的雪花，让那乌黑的长发变得无比可爱。

2008-02-23T22:17:00.005+08:00

I stood through the rain, alone with an umbrella of yours.

I could feel something missing. It was you.

Under the umbrella, one side was empty. You weren't here . Every raindrop was an arrow of agony and loneliness.

I wished that I could have seen you a little longer during recess. But you weren't facing me. That bitter coffee and melancholic music from the piano striked the core of my heart. I could hear the sound of breaking glass and hearts. I could only say that the coffee and the song blended so well.

In the midst of nowhere, your split second presence was sunlight to me, providing warmth and happiness. But your immediate absence was a stab of pain, not external pain but emotional pain. Will you ever notice and sense my love?

2008-02-23T19:48:00.000+08:00

Another blog in this world that supports emotionalism.

I am an ordinary school boy. But I view the world differently just like anyone else.

Emotion - an affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness.

LIFE'S MADE UP OF JIGSAW PIECES

Bit by bit, day by day, you experience something new. Joy, sorrow, regret, fear, hate, sad, there is not enough words in this world that can express what you feel. Feelings can come together to you all at once.

LOVE. Everyone in this world has this one and only person that he would want to protect in his life. He would do his best, put in all his soul and stay beside her to support her whenever she's in need. But will she notice it? If she don't, he can only stay quietly by her side and wait...